Twitter Updates

Yeah, as all know, as of November 16, I was in a new crew called Missing In Action, consisting of 4 dancers, namely DD, Aleen, Suzie and of course, me. And we've only entered two competitions thus far. Our first competition was a bit of a mess-up, but hey, considering it was the first time we were working together, and having only 1 week to prepare everything, I think it was pretty ok. As for our 2nd competition, however...

We made it through the auditions! HUZZAH! We're in the Finals of the H2O Dance Competition! Hahah. Yeah, of course we're happy. It's our second time being together and we're already competing with other top crews. We're really excited about this. I don't expect to do that well compared to the other crews, but hey, that doesn't mean I won't give it my all. Imma give this one my best, and really go A.O. Hehe.

Oh, and M.I.A. has grown a bit too. We've got two new members, namely Hetty and Mimi. I've never met Mimi, but Hetty's quite a pretty good dancer. And I've danced alongside her before. Unofficially, but yeah, she's a good dancer. I trust DD when he said that Mimi is a fast learner, so I hope to see her and teach her our choreo soon. And we're going to compete in a lot more competitions, like Danceworkz and Suntec.

And I've been surprising myself too. Anyone who've been with me in the long run would know how much of a sucky choreographer I kinda am. At least, before. But now, for some reason, I'm suddenly on fire when it comes to choreographies. Not trying to show off here, but I've made three different choreographies that have been receiving thumbs-up from people. I be happy. I'm improving, and I love improving.

Yeah, a lot more have been happening this month too. Plenty of tears, but plenty of smiles too. My brother was here for a while, but that while was special nonetheless. Haha. I miss him already. >.<

It's New Year's Eve, and I'm thinking back of the events of this year. Pretty major events, I guess. Not going to list them down, though. I'm, at the moment, having quite a headache, due to lack of proper rest. And I'm feeling lazy too. Hahah.

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE AND A MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS TO ALL! =D
May you have a great, if not greater, year ahead as you had this year. It's the start of another decade. Let it be special one.

Oh, and for those who are worried...
Fuck 2012. xD

Anyway...

ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

M.I.A. has made it through the Auditions of Yeo's H2O Dance Competition!

We are in the Finals!

To all of you, please do try to come and support us! It'll be on January the 9th, at Junction 8, on the third floor, at 3.30 pm.

Thank you for those who have helped us made it through thus far! We love you guys! Can't wait to see you all there!!!

-M.I.A., through L.

Yeah, as you might have guessed, yeah, the past few days have been quite messed up. The last I posted was on Tuesday night, so here was what happened on Wednesday. Let me see... I watched 2012 all the way to 2 am plus, and then went to bed. Don't ask why I was watching so late. I just love late night videos. Anyway, I went to bed after that, and then woke up at 5.30 am. Yeah, 3.5 hours of sleep only. Anyway, I woke up and packed my clothes for the day, for I had three events to attend to.

Firstly, I went to Toa Payoh Stadium to help an ex-senior pass his NS Napfa. Idiot. He failed, and he asked me to do it for him. I guess I didn't mind, cause I was getting paid for it. 30 dollars plus the number of points I get. So yeah, I did ALL six stations in one do. No inclined pull-ups, just pull-ups. Yeah, it was tiring. Heh. Anyway, I ended at about 10, around that time. And after that, I went to CCK to work. Yeah, immediately. Got scolded for wearing bermudas to work. Haha. Yeah, worked from 11 am to 5 pm. And I had to do the rice and sugar again. Stacking the shit up was tiring. My arms were hurting and I was sleepy already. And even more, I went to dance prac after that. Walked form Lot 1 all the way to CCK CC. I waited there, actually, for an hour.

Then, Irah, Betty and her sister came first. So we took the keys and got into the dance studio. Then I started practicing some new choreography. The song will be kept a secret, until completion, though. Anyway, DD came later on and we started practicing Get Sexy. Yeah, Vogue, you guessed right. The others came afterwards, like Skyle, Ayul, Winnie, Acap and Lina. Then, I left the studio for a while to answer a call. Yeah, went back in and continued practice. Then, we ended at 10, cause we only booked until 10. Yeah. Selynna texted me then and started lecturing me. I was on my own already, tired and sleepy. So I actually just dozed myself into a trance in the bus, forgetting to reply BFFAE.

The moment I went home, though, I started getting rained on by messages. Facebook, MSN and my phone. It was annoying, getting asked and lectured. Then, I told my BFFAE the truth and I expected her to keep it a secret for me, cause I wanted her to understand the situation for me. But in the end, it made the situation worse for me. It felt like I was getting shot at from all sides, even from supposedly-neutral parties. And what was worse was the conference, when CHBW was attacking me too. I stayed up all the way online to 1 am, when my internet got cut.

So, I went to bed, but I couldn't sleep at all. Yeah, maybe I cried. MAYBE. Yeah, I had trouble sleeping, so the next morning, I gave my apologies to the two people I gave my faults on and went to work. Mmhm. Work was even worse. I didn't feel at all in the mood to smile or be helpful. I was pretty much idle, doing what I did and ignoring everything else that happened around me. I left work at 2 pm, overtime-ing again. After that, went home for a while, before going out again to celebrate DD's birthday. I was on the MRT and I actually almost teared listening to 'She's Out Of My Life' by MJ. =_=;

Yeah. The sms said to meet at Lavender control station at 5.15 pm SHARP. Bolded and capitalised. I came at 5.20. Yeah, call me late, but guess what? I waited all the way till 6.15. And then Lina called me to meet her at Bugis instead to buy DD's birthday cake. Yeah, waited till 6.30 pm, before meeting her and going to buy the cake, Coco Express. After that, we went on back to Lavender MRT, and waited till 7.15 for Skyle and Ayul to come. Then Winnie, Acap and Wani. And we proceeded then to this place to makan. It was a hawker center. Not my kind of place, but I ate there nonetheless. Waited for DD, Suria and Amalina to come then. When they arrived, we started eating. I had chicken chop. And it was spicy. ToT

Yeah, after that went to the playground to slack, eat the cake and take pictures, all of which I have yet to get. o.o

Went home after that, and I reached home at 11 plus. I was smsing CHBW then, but I fell asleep. I was too tired. Yeah, I know. Pretty fucked up. I'm pissed at myself too. I woke up at 7.45, when my job was at 8 am. So I rushed off to work, smsing once more on the bus, one long sms. Yeah. Tired me. Today, nothing much happened, really. Work till 2, lunched, met Josh and Daniel for a while, before heading to JP for dance prac at 4. We all met at 4.30, and there were only three of us. Aleen and Mimi didn't come. So, went off at 7, met Josh and Daniel again, after they watched New Moon, then went home.

So, here I am blogging. And I have a new choreo to finish. Heh, ok.

How am I feeling? Well, here's a short summary and list of feelings I've had since Wednesday evening:
Well, I was feeling quite insignificant on Wednesday night at first, though I know she knows why by now. Then, I felt quite lost cause I was tired and was placed in a position that I did not have any say in. And then, I felt stressed out as both Sel and Khai went down hard on me. I didn't want to lie to Sel, so I told her the truth, but I never expected her to tell him too. I got pretty much messed up after that. I smsed her to call me too, cause I didn't know what to do, but she was a bit too late with her call. Yeah. At that point, everyone started shooting me down for what I did. It was like two armies joining together to hunt down a single soldier. Gah. >.<

Yeah, I felt guilty after that. Defending myself only got more words shot at me. And I was tired, so I just succumbed. Yeah, I let myself get shot down. I put down my defences just to stop the situation from getting worse, cause I know that I was already in shit. So, I just went on a guilt streak and apologised to the people I needed to apologise to, explaining myself and feeling quite lost. Cause in the whole event, I lost a lot of things. For one, I just threw away whatever advantage I had in the 'war', and put myself in a hopeless struggle. Yeah, I had no more chance, really, so I just went out and said everything I needed to say, however it may affect me. After all, what more did I have to lose?

So now, I messed up bad, I lost a lot of things. But I've always been resilient and of course, I found ways to make myself feel better.

"One should not be judged by his mistakes, but by what he learns from his mistakes."

Right. Imma post about yesterday, and today. Yesterday left early from home to meet Pei San, who was bringing me to Lot 1 NTUC for my interview. And yeah, I work in NTUC Fairprice now. It wasn't a bad pay, really. And the hours are not bad too. 5 hours a day, 6 days a week. And most likely, I'd be working from 8 am to 1 pm. So, whoever wants to disturb, come after 1 pm. xD

Yeah. After that went to make a bank account in order to get my salary. Went all the way to Beauty World with Pei San to do so. Haha. I have a credit card now. Whee... How do I use it? o.o

So, I'm going to be paid at least 800 per month? o.o

Yeah, today was my first day of work. Woke up as early as 6.30. Felt as if I was going to school again. It sucked. Yeah. Left home at about 7.15 and went to Lot 1. Reached at 7.45 and ate at MacDonald, a Sausage McMuffin with Egg. Take note this part, cause this is the only time you'll see the word 'eat', or any other form of it, in this post. Yeah. Tried to get into NTUC, but I didn't know where the back door was, so I walked around for 10 minutes, looking for it. In the end, I found it cause of Josh, who was there to get interviewed. Haha. He got kicked out, though, cause it was not opening hours yet.

Yeah. Worked from 8 am to 1 pm, handling the sweets, chocolates and snacks. It was fun. Hehehe. No, I did not steal. ._.

Got overtimed to 1.30 pm, though, cause I was helping stocking up the bags of rice. Yeah, I be tired after that, but the day was not yet over, cause I rushed back schoolwards to play basketball at the back court. Jeremy Yeo, Yu Run, Yuen Kai, Alan and Run Zhou were all there. 6 of us, so of course we played 3 on 3. Yeah. Played from 2 to 4.30, before they all left to go bathe, while I played with Vincent, another filipino guy. I got elbowed in the nose then, and bled half my shirt red. >.<

Waited till the bleeding stopped, then quickly headed to the Dorm, a self-named place near Jurong Point, for dance practice. Yeah. Practiced from 6 to 8.30, before heading home. Nothing much happened during practice, really. And I'm tired now. Tomorrow's gonna be more tiring too, I just know it. Something in the morning from 7.30 onwards, work from 12 to 5, and dance prac from 6 to 10.

Somebody help me. ToT

Ooh, ooh. While heading to JP, I suddenly thought up of a brief choreography of Can't Help But Wait. Going to polish it up and post it up as a video alongside Cookie Jar. Once I get a good camera, and a good place to dance at. >_>

Right, well, since I missed last night, Imma post about what happened yesterday, today! I know, it ain't my style. I usually post at night what happens on the day itself, but I was too tired last night. Hah.

Well, I woke up quite early yesterday, like at 10.30. Ok, considering where I needed to go, it wasn't that early. I had to eat a big breakfast, cause I was out of cash. Boohoo. So... ...

I watched the E.M.A.s today. Yeah.

=_=;

And what am I thinking? Well, I don't usually do this, but I guess I'll be real personal in this post.

At the moment, I'm feeling a whole lot of emotions. And topping them all is confusion and guilt. I'm confused about what I'm supposed to do, and what you really want. As much as I want you with me, I just want you to be happy. And I'm wondering now, what really makes you happy? I'm constantly stepping back and forth, cause I'm not sure which way I wanna go. I'm stuck between my own morals and my own selfishness. And speaking of morals, it's really not like me to go and hurt someone else unconditionally just for my own happiness. At least, not deliberately.

My older brother taught me the 'Rules of Engagement', or however it should be called, and doing this is pretty much breaking a lot of those rules, and at the same time, enforcing others too. In other words, I'm being pulled in both directions, by many different things. And at the moment, my decision has been to stay in the spot.